A Land Down Under Part 1

The beginning of March saw Ric and I travel to Australia for Sandi's wedding. Ric flew out first as he had to go to Sydney for work and in doing so managed to blag a free flight (though horror of horrors had to go 'economy' to fly back with me). So on a sunny Brisbane morning he was met by a sweaty, smelly, hungry and jetlagged version of myself in quite the foul mood. So it was the perfect time for him to catch up with some old school friends whilst I slept off the jetlag...

Myself, Ric and Jess outside the Wickham on Big Gay Day

The next day there was no rest for the wicked as we headed off to the Wickham Pub for Brisbane's annual Big Gay Day. It is basically a street party with bad food, lots of drinking and some awful D List acts (Leo Sayer was performing!!!!). Being 37 degrees celsius certainly forced to aclimatise from the English winter. We met up with Columb, Damien, Jess, Graham and Sammy and drunk from around 1pm until around midnight. I introduced Ric to bundy rum and got appropriately feral and even managed to tuck into a proper Australian Kebab.
We spent the next couple of days crusing along the river, shopping, getting in some more drinks, food and plenty of sunshine. I met up with Vicki who had just finished 2nd in National Athletics Championships (High Jump) as well as Charlene who was as adorable as ever.

We then headed down through the Gold Coast hinterland to Murwillimbah (narrowly avoiding a Texas Chainsaw Massacre style hitchhiker) to see my dog Jorgi who is now staying with an amazing older lady called Sybil Primrose (she has no surname). Sybil's a bit of a meditation guru and self helper, a very interesting character who was taking care of a very relaxed and healthy looking Jorgi.

Jorgi

After a quick stop over in Byron Bay it was up the coast to Coolongatta to stay at the beautiful Blue C apartments. The complex is managed by Rene's parents and the rooms are just divine! Rene's parents were incredibly hospitable and really lovely people. We spent a very chilled out two days there by the beach (I even managed to get Ric into the water) and topped up our suntans for the wedding. Then it was back up the coast via a small traffic jam and onto a Jetstar plane up to Airlie Beach...

The view from our apartment

The Queens' Birthday

No I'm not making mention of her Royal Highness, but of the lovely Mike and Simon who both celebrated their birthdays in January.

Simon (who is better known for playing Blanche in The Golden Girls) had a civil gathering (obviously befitting his age) at the Freedom Bar in Soho. Though it was a rare opportunity to take a snanp of both he and ric in a non pouting pose...

Mike's bash took place on a Tuesday evening at G-A-Y bar. Getting their early armed with many gold coloured coins, it was not long before we had taken over the juke box for the evening. Around 30 songs later the night culminated with Mike and Dale's Top 10 cheese anthems. From memory it included: Chocolate and Better The Devil You Know by Kylie, Waterloo by Abba, Disrememberence by Dannii, Like A Prayer by Madonna, Crucified by Army of Lovers, Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler, Wake Me Up by Girls Aloud, The Reflex by Duran Duran and You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive (including our choreographed dance performance). Only the strongest could continue onto G-A-Y late. This did not include Natalie who hugged a homeless man on the way and was refused entry. I being the chivalrous gentleman that I am made sure she got home ok by pointing out where the tube was in a round about fashion before heading inside.

Rachel, Me, Julia, Paul and Mike

Don't they make a nice couple eh?

Mike, Me, Paul, Julia and Sarah in background

Belated Holiday Posting

Yes I'm completely uselss and have not updated this for nearly 6 months... So I'll post some photos and give you a quick recap of the holiday period (which basically consisted of getting quite drunk for 2 months)

Nicole and I hosted Christmas at our place for Ric, Mike, Renee, Zoe and Real Estate Bree. Football Bree and her friend came later on. Without tooting my own horn the food prepared by Ric and myself was bloody lovely! Presents were shared, drinks were consumed and we all watched the Queen's Speech and Eastenders. Drinking, music and dancing continued into the wee hours before we all passed out ready for the clean up the next day...

Some post eating Xmas madness: Mike, Zoe (with hat on), Me, Ric, Bree and Renee

New Years began as a more sedate affair as Ric and Katy had a few friends over at their place for nibbles and champagne. However before the stroke of midnight we were in the The Two Brewers watching drag queens count in 2007. We stayed with Simon and Michael till the wee hours singing, dancing and making fun of the freaks who'd ventured out (70 years old is not a good age to start becoming an amateur transvestite). Late into the night we were joined by Ric's school mates which was a bloody nice touch and a great end to the evening. It was then all back to Ric and Katy's again where we were joined by a random neighbour before eventually crashing when the sun came up.

Ric, Michael and Katy

Next drunken event was Australia Day. Nicole, Renee, Zoe, Kate (+friend), Bree, Adele, John and myself all headed off to The Swan in Stockwell for another night of debauchery. After a fair few snakebites we all took over the stage and (attempted to) dance the night away as well as sing into parents' phones back in Oz to 'I Still Call Australia Home'. I got a little carried away and jumped onto a spilt drink, slipped over and bashed my head on the edge of the stage. Zoe then dragged me (kicking and screaming obviously) to the bar for the first of many many Jager Bombs of the evening. I eventually stumbled into Ric's house around 3am wearing a cork hat and I was soon joined by his equally inebriated housemate Aleks. There may have then been a drunken rendition of the national anthem performed... but errr... I don't remember

At The Swan: Nic, Me, Kate, Zoe and Renee


Aleks and I wearing v silly hats

the wheels on the bus go round and round....

Office Xmas Bash

Maggie, Chantel, Mary Cate, Myself, Laxmi and Mary (aka me and my b*tches)

Last Friday we had our annual office christmas party and by office I really mean office! Unlike previous years where we go out and eat a meal and then get p*ssed (or vice verca) it was arranged to have the party in our new offices (and just get p*ssed there). Unfortunatley the nurse organising the party suffered a terrible family tragedy and so Chantel and myself attempted to throw it together in last minute style (what other style do I do!?)


With SS gift

In the end it turned out to be a good night although in the first few hours I felt more like a caterer than a person at my xmas party. However after the hot food (we had take away - Indian, Thai and Ethiopian - very classy!) I relaxed and had a good time. The secret santa was quite amusing as always - I received a talking beer mug that tells me when my drink is running out or if I'm sobering up... There was no goss to speak of exactly... however like most xmas parties there have been a few 'theories' thrown about of some interesting behaviour...


Rachel in her usual picture pose!

A Sunday Shopping Story

Ric and I went on an innocent shopping trip a few sundays back. I would explain it to you what eventually happened but he did send an email to his housemates which summed it up quite nicely!

"So Dale and I go shopping.

We buy some fab things

We find a bargain restaurant with bargain priced fab house wine

We have a bottle

We end up (of course) in the pub

We find the cheap bars. . . . .. . the offers on pints, and shots of liquor

We spend all cash on us so have to resort to using cards

We have to buy doubles so our cards can be used in the bars (minimum payment)

We miss the last tube

We have to get take away. . . .. ..

We eat raw chicken

I leave my shopping bag on the street (with my wallet in it)

We find a builders hat

We spend half an hour larking around with the hat looking like something out of the YMCA

We realise.. . . . .I've not got my shopping bag

Dale runs off to find it

Dale finds it - attached to a homeless persons trolley

Dale removes it from homeless man (whilst wearing hat)

We get shouted at by homeless man

We are annoyed that he dared to call us "stupid" for leaving our shopping on the street

We get home via Tescos (don't ask)



We take more pictures sat on post boxes (see above and below)

We sleep

Dale takes the rip out of me for nearly losing my wallet

Dale realises he left his wallet on the bus

Dale finds out wallet handed in to Barcllays bank in Mayfair.

The end.

NO MORE SUNDAY DRINKING"

Fulham 2 Arsenal 1, Australia 1 Ghana 1

On a chilly Wednesday night at the end of November Nicole, Ric and myself went along to the finest live sporting contest I have ever witnessed. We had managed to secure tickets for Fulham v Arsenal (at £40 a piece I might add!) and although I was quite excited to see Fulham take on one of the big teams (I had only seen them defeat Bolton and Middlesbrough) I was not going to the match brimming with confidence. We had lost 4-1 and 4-0 in the 05/06 season and had not beaten them since 1966.

Our view from behind the goals

We had fantastic seats right behind the goal in the 2nd row. Although you lost some depth and comprehension of what was going down the other end of the pitch it was made up with a spectacular view and atmosphere when the play was up our end. Somehow after 20 minutes we were up 2-0, the lead was cut to 1 goal after Van Persie's brilliant free kick. Although the second half was goaless it was thorougly entertaining, 2 disallowed goals, 1 sending off (all up there were 10 yellow cards) and the chance to abuse the eejit that is Jens Lehman. With Arsenal's last attacking chance of the game Jens ran out from the goals to join them up front however it was to no avail and we nearly turned it around and scored whilst Jens was still running back to goals. In the end it was a famous vicotry for Fulham 40 years in the making! Brilliant!

Socceroos v Ghana during National Anthems

All the girls and myself also attending the international friendly between Australia and Ghana. The game was held at Loftus Road, home of Queen's Park Rangers, and we had seats on the side so we had an excellent view of all the action. We performed brilliantly despite not having Cahill, Viduka, Neil or Kewell and although we drew 1-1 we were the better team and really deserved to win. Towards the end we had wave after wave of attack and when the announcement came that we had 2 mins of injury time a last minute winner seemed likely. Unfortunately the ref blew the whistle for full time approximatley 20 seconds into the 2 minutes!

The only other event in November was when I went along with Mike, Paul, Brad, Ric and Katie to see Sugababes at G-A-Y. Well I think i did, unfortunately I got ridiculously drunk (see below) and made quite a scene much to the embarassment of everyone around me. I think i was last seen shouting demands that 'Push the Button' be played. Luckily Ric and Katie ushered me home and off to bed... Apparently they were very good though!


Mike and I

Some drunken eejit, wind blown Katie and Ric

The Sewers and a Bucket of Punch

Below are photos from one particular raucous evening in November.


Kate, Nic, Bree, Zoe and Me


Zoe drinking out of the bucket at 'gunpoint'

The night (5pm) started at our place where Bree brewed up her special punch read to scoop (or drink - see above) from the freshly bought black bucket. All the girls came round and of course it wasn't too long before the state of affairs dropped ever so slightly. The big mistake of the evening was telling the girls about the halloween party I had been to - before long Bree was in full army gear and generally running amok in true commando style. Music was played, more punch was drunk and photos were taken as you can see below.


Bree, Zoe, Chloe, Renee, Nic and Kate

Bree 'shooting' Zoe

Alas I had to leave to meet Ric and his housemates for a night out in Clapham. My journey was interupted by my good friend and ex work colleague Laxmi who texted to say she was in a restaurant in Battersea. My work colleagues never venture south of the river so this was exciting and my bus was going right past her restaurant. So naturally I waltzed in to the packed restuarant quite merry from the punch and pulled up besides Laxmi. I may have been a little loud but Laxmi didn't seem to be embarassed and I finally got to meet her boyfriend of 12 months or so.

Aleks and Ric

Eventually I made it out of there and met up with Ric and co for our night out at The Two Brewers (or the two sewers at it's mainly known). We also ran into Emmet and had a brilliant night - for reasons I won't go into here the night buzzed by in a haze but unfortunatley photos were taken again (by me so I can't complain!). Unfortunately we thought it would be a good idea to continue at home and didn't end up getting to sleep until 8am... urrrghhhh....

The lovely Katie and Aleks (and Ric)

Continuing on at home...

It's not too grim up north!

My parents recently returned after spending two months travelling around Ireland, Wales, the continent whilst also spending a few weeks staying with Nicole and I cooking and cleaning to keep up their board!

However before they left we all spent a few days driving up into the frontier that is northern England. We decided to hire a small car but were upgraded to something that resembled a tank at the last minute. Nicole had not time to get used to the size of the vehicle as we needed to navigate through central London, however this (despite my protests) was not a problem and we were soon on our way up the uninspiring M1.


Peak Distric

We decided to try and find our way to Nottingham Forest ala Robin Hood however the plan was abandoned when we got caught up in the scary outers suburbs of Nottingham itself (gun crime capital of the UK). We evacuated to the ever so quaint town of Bakewell (home of the Bakewell Tart) in the Peak District for a spot of afternoon tea. A bit of shopping later (that saw dad and I buy one of the old style country hats) and we were on our way to Buxton to spend the night. Unfortunately Buxton proved to be a little busy traffic wise so we opted for a place called 'Chapel - capital of the Peak District'. What a f*cking dive it was - after 5 minutes deciding whether we should stay in the sh*thole we decided to leg it out into the wilderness.


Dad and I in Hayfield

Upon looking at the map I realised we were very close to where Ric grew up - a quick text to Rio de Janeiro (as the lucky b*stard was off on holiday) later and we were kindly directed to the small village of Hayfield and to the 'George Hotel' (thanks ric!). We spent the evening have one too many drinks in front of the fire and a very decent dinner. Then Nicole and I decided to do a 'pub crawl' (nicole had had a few...) we had walked about 20 metres when an intoxicated local lass told us to follow her to a decent pub as long as we didn't mind climbing a few fences... we followed and ended up in 'the lodge' which was filled with people who had came from a very limited gene pool...

Nicole and I in Whitby

After a decent night sleep we were on our way north to Bronte country. We spent the morning looking around the Bronte's home and village of Haworth and then legged it north to the seaside town of Whitby (the place where Dracula landed in the UK - fictionally of course). Whitby was a really nice place that I would fully recommend however we had to leave early in the evening to get to our booked hotel in York.


Dad, myself and Mum on York's walls

York was really quite impressive. The size of Yorkminster was incredible and the walking around the town walls is a must. The old town area of the shambles was really amazing - the building overhung the streets almost touching each other. However the city wasn't as olde worldy as I thought (I had a northern Bath in my mind) but still very much worth a visit.

So off on a 1st class ticket home (it was cheaper than 2nd class - crazy rail system over here) and then the next day mum and dad flew back to Australia via Singapore (and via a flood of tears dad tells me). It was sad to see them go but glorious to have my bed back!

Horrors of Halloween

This is Rachel who failed to turn up in halloween costume but still managed to steal someone's wig.

Ok I know Halloween was over a month ago but I've been a little delayed in getting my posts up...

My good friend Mike and his lovely housemates Aaron, Amber and Shannon hosted a bloody fantastic Halloween party in their fabulously decorated flat. After being caught on the fake cobwebs and navigating past a mummy, dead cheerleader and a hysterical leprechaun (yes that's Paul) I was able to do a superman style change into my soldier's uniform (picked earlier in the morning whilst in a drunken state with mike at the local fancy dress shop). I was complete with fake M16 and bullet belt and was luckily enough to borrow a stray army helmet. Unfortunately for Mike, Hone turned up (there's more...) wearing the exact same roman soldier's uniform! Oh the humanity!



Mike, Aaron, ?, Myself and Rachel

As always the night was a complete hoot with many a drink consumed and a song danced to. I caught a bus at 3am without a care in the world despite the fact my trousers had ripped all the way up the crotch exposing my underwear to all and sundry. I blame Rachel queen of the geordies who could no longer hide her hidden desire for me and ripped open my trousers and some stage in the evening.